Oh Yea, Weight Loss, Yea!

I have great news everyone! I have been doing the ViSalus shake program for 2 full weeks as of today, and I have lost a whopping...drum roll, please...

ZERO POUNDS.

If you've ever struggled with your weight, you know how frustrating that certain number can be. I am tired of seeing that same number, or some small variation on it, every time I check the scale. I was down about 3 pounds prior to this weekend, which was awesome, but saw the same number I saw two weeks ago this morning on the scale. I am trying not to let it get me down, so let me summarize how things are going elsewhere...

I have resigned myself to the fact that this shake product will not give me more energy like the raving reviews state. Everyone I've talked to, and every informational piece I've read online, talks about just how much energy you will have if you switch two of your meals a day to a ViSalus shake or even if you just sit in the same room as the damn shake powder. This has been the exact opposite of my experience, and I have scoured the internet looking for any bad reviews of ViSalus. They pretty much do not exist. I do not have more energy, but luckily I haven't been falling asleep every night like I did the first few nights. I do tend to feel a little "off" after drinking a shake - sort of headache-y, nauseous, and still hungry - but if I pair the shake with some other kind of snack, I feel a little better. I am concerned about the way the shakes make me feel, and have been brainstorming for weeks upon weeks (2 of them) to figure out what could be causing it.

Initially, I thought this was caused by some sort of extreme calorie deficit. This is just not the case and to say so would be lying to myself. On good days, I average between 1300-1800 calories. On bad days, I have no idea, because I refuse to track those ones.

Tracking-less sad face days.

As you can see from the very scientific graph above (pulled from my My Fitness Pal Reports tab), I don't even stay under 1500 calories on days I do track. (Side bar, I gave up tracking on 6/30, obviously; I did not eat 800 calories in one day. What kind of diet do you think this is?)

Oh, right. I'm supposed to be limiting my caloric intake, including burning calories with exercise, to lose weight. Well, strikes one and two, self, because I am neither limiting my caloric intake very much (I refuse to eat less than 1200 calories in a day, but this nifty calculator I found tells me I need to eat 2047.5 calories to maintain this weight, and 1800 is not atypical for me) nor am I burning calories with exercise. See, Jillian Michaels, I know this stuff, I just can't make myself do it!

Well, dear reader(s), I must be honest with you. I mean, really, lezbehonest. (Side bar, I tried to find a Jersey Shore "lezbehonest" meme, but instead I found this hilarity that made me literally LOL...)

Oh yea, gif's, yea!

So lezbehonest here. I do have a downfall slash kryptonite, and that is WEEKENDS. I thought I could allow myself one splurge day, on a weekend, on this ViSalus plan and continue with the plan the other 6 days (okay, I need to stop with the side bars, but side bar, I just wrote "other 7 days" lolol) of the week. That sounds like a great plan, in theory, but for the past two weeks I have allowed myself between 2 and 4 splurge days a week. Isn't that just crazy? How could I possibly expect to lose any weight?!

This problem, as I see it, is three-fold.
1. I allow myself, consciously, to slack on weekends (or the occasional weekday, like last Tuesday when there was a trivia night incident involving deep dish pizza).
2. Once I start to splurge, I just go for it all day.
3. I do not bother with the shakes on weekends (partly because they don't satisfy me and they don't keep me full for long, partly because I enjoy salty foods more, and partly because I sleep in on weekends which in my mind cuts out an entire meal but not really).
4. I have been drinking a lot on the weekends, sometimes even having two "going-out" nights in one weekend. Even when there is just one of those nights, they tend to be pretty crazy and involve lots of sugary drinks and snacky foods (imagine the LMFAO/Lil' Jon song "Shots" playing through my head basically for 3 days straight - that has been my weekend lately).
5. Being healthy/drinking a shake when hungover is no fun.
6. I haven't lost any weight, and my clothes don't fit better, so why would I even bother when bloody mary's and chips are SO MUCH TASTIER than being skinny?
7. That saying is wrong, lots of things taste better than skinny feels, and anyone who says that is a liar.
8. I could go on, but I said the problem was three-fold and having it be seven-fold is just a little depressing.

I really need to be honest with you, reader(s), and with myself. I think it's pretty obvious that I'm really smart I know logically how to lose weight. Why do I continue to sabotage myself? I want more than anything to feel better, look better, and just overall be a better person, but I am not allowing myself to succeed. I have gotten so used to the going-out lifestyle, and my body craves junk all. the. time. To begin with, I can't even tell myself the truth and track what I eat 7 out of 7 days a week! I know if I stick with the ViSalus shakes, it can be an easy way for me to limit (read: less than 2000 but more than 1200 calories a day) my caloric intake - as in, it's kind of a no-brainer. The other meals during the week are not too bad, if I stop SPLURGING. EVERY. OTHER. DAY. I wouldn't even mind skipping the shakes on weekends and just eating sensibly (read: not splurging) on those days and watching my caloric intake by tracking. It seems impossible now, and even as I type it my face is basically scoffing at my fingers like, psh, you can't stop splurging, dummy. But I really have no other choice, unless I make the silly and undesirable choice of gaining more weight.

I thought ViSalus would be some miracle weight cure, but news flash: it's just as hard to lose weight using the shakes as it is with any other method (last side bar, I have been dreaming about Weight Watchers lately and on the way to Starbucks for my 130 calorie espresso Frappuccino light, I even thought, "hey, there goes 3 points for today"...RIP Weight Watchers membership). I need to just get serious, start working out, stop allowing myself to splurge every other day, and just get my ish together.

This post really took a different slash more depressing turn than I was expecting, but it feels kind of good to be honest; not necessarily lezbehonest, but just plain old honest. I'm going to go chug a chocolate shake now and daydream about my sensible, home-cooked, non-splurge-y dinner...


Love & blue cheese/bacon wedge salads (yes, that actually happened last night),
Molly

ViSalus + Molly = ?

I don't have any excuses for why I haven't used my blog in the past few months, and to you, dear reader(s), I should not have to excuse, amirite? So I'll just jump right into the topic on my mind tonight...

ViSalus.

In case you really don’t know me, I will let you in on a little secret. I have struggled with my weight my entire life. Back in 2009, I joined Weight Watchers and lost about 50 pounds in 1 year. It was one of the best things that I have ever done for myself. It was relatively easy for me, and I loved the results.

I reached my goal weight in the summer of 2010, but instead of maintaining that goal weight (for a minimum of 6 weeks as required by Weight Watchers policies, to become a “Lifetime” member), I met a boy and started dating him. Late night drinks, happy hour get-togethers, and convenience store runs became routine. In the past 2 years, I have gained 40 of the 50 pounds I initially lost back.

I could tell you about all of the other things I have tried during the past 2 years (obviously none of them successful), but let me summarize with this: I have paid monthly for Weight Watchers since July 2009. Even while I was gaining weight, I was still dropping $40 a month for something to which I was paying no attention. I finally ended my membership last month, and I actually cried. Weight Watchers was such a huge part of my life for so long, but I needed to try something else (and save that $40 a month).

Enter ViSalus! It’s kind of funny that I talk about saving money, when my first month on ViSalus has cost $100 so far. Oops. But for the past 6 months or so I have searched for something that could catch my attention and assist me in losing weight as well as Weight Watchers had. Yes, I had considered buckling down and trying Weight Watchers again, but I needed/still need something new and exciting. At least for now. What I love/d about Weight Watchers is that I learned how to be healthy. Do I always follow the principles of a healthy lifestyle? Obviously not. But I do know what it takes to lose weight & maintain weight. I am proud of that, but have been anxious to find something that could help to jump-start me in the right direction.

Enter ViSalus! Oh, I said that already. My sister-in-law recently showed me her weight loss bracelet, that she was using to track her almost 10 pound (in 3 week’s time) loss. I asked her how she did it, and she started telling me about this delicious meal replacement shake program called ViSalus. Normally, I am not the type to ever consider a meal replacement – I love food too much – but I was feeling desperate. I decided to give it a shot. She invited me to a tasting; I tried it, and signed myself up for 1 month at a time.

I replace 2 meals a day with a ViSalus shake, which is made with ViShape powder (that tastes like cake, seriously, it’s so good) and milk (I like almond milk best because it has fewer calories). There are other supplements available through ViSalus, but I did not purchase them and will try the shakes first before making any other decisions (read: purchases). I would like to track my progress/thoughts about this product on my blog, if for nothing else, to help me make my decision to continue or not at the end of my first 30 day supply.

Before my first day, I purchased a Blender Bottle at GNC, which is awesome. I have wanted one for a long time, and even convinced the staff member at GNC to get me a pink one from the back stock room. I also picked up some sugar free, fat free pudding mix, as I knew that adding a tablespoon of that to my ViSalus shake would give it different flavors.

My first day went pretty well. I had a butterscotch shake (2 scoops powder, 12 oz. skim milk which is all I had, and 1 TBSP butterscotch pudding mix) for breakfast, and a pistachio shake (same as above but with pistachio pudding mix) for lunch. They were both DELICIOUS. I also had a string cheese & a tomato for a mid-morning snack, and some grapes for an afternoon snack. I did figure out pretty quickly how this shake plays into weight loss – it has only 90 calories per serving! If you add it to the almond milk, your shake is only 150 calories, making each shake meal a very small portion of your daily calorie intake.

 I was feeling pretty good the whole day, but hungry (typical of the first day on a “diet”). I got home from work and was ravenous. So much so that I was physically unable to properly make dinner; I made undercooked rice and overcooked asparagus (to go along with the chicken breasts the boyfriend was making). The rice burned me, and I had to walk out of the kitchen to avoid a meltdown. I was not in a nice mood. I was HANGRY. I ate in silence and then fell asleep on the couch. I was not only starving, but I was exhausted. I ended up waking up when my best friend got to my apartment and we went out for a drink, and after a drink I was unable to resist the Cheetos in my apartment, so I ended up eating many of those, and finished my day at 1,710 calories (I am also tracking my caloric intake on My Fitness Pal). Not proud of that one.

The second day (today), I was really looking forward to my shakes. I woke up late, and had a cheesecake shake, with almond milk, as the boyfriend made a grocery run last night for me. I was pretty hungry all day long. I had a mini bag of reduced fat Cheez-its for my mid-morning snack (maybe if I allow myself the salty, crunchy snacks, I won’t binge on them late at night?) and also had a Northern Lite Cooler from Caribou. When I got home from work, I had a tomato with blue cheese crumbles, and binged again on some SunChips that were STILL IN MY APARTMENT. GET OUT OF THERE. Luckily though, that satisfied me for a while, and the junk food is now mostly gone, so it can't get in my mouth later.

What concerned me about day 2 is that I fell asleep again around 5:30pm and took a nap until about 7pm. I am concerned that this shake program is not giving me enough energy to get through my days. I will continue it for another week or so, to make sure that I give it a good try, but I can’t continue to crash at night after dinner. My sister-in-law and her ViSalus colleagues rave about how much energy they have on the program, but I am finding just the opposite.

After I woke up from my “nap,” I had a piece of toast and some strawberries. I’m not sure if I’m going to need another small meal later. I'm already at 1,431 calories for the day and my goal is to stay between 1,200 and 1,400 each day, but if I'm hungry, I'll eat.

This is a pretty long introduction to my first 2 days on ViSalus, so I will leave it at that. I am going to try to blog every day or two to provide an update. I have some pretty lofty weight loss goals, and I am trying to be healthy about this program (eating when I am hungry, increasing my fruits & veggies, avoiding junk fo…oh wait) so that once I decide that ViSalus has helped me long enough, I will have the healthy habits to continue to lose/maintain. I don’t plan on doing the meal replacement/shake thing for too long (maybe 3 months tops?), and I want to exchange my unhealthy lifestyle for a healthier one, for the long run.

Love & cake flavored milkshakes,

Molly

Three-and-a-half-month Progress Report

Here is an update, faithful blog reader(s), on my progress towards my 2012 Resolutions...


1. Start a blog. Start, develop, and manage a successful blog. 0% complete, grade: F (No explanation needed.)

2. Get healthy. 5% complete, grade: F+ (I joined My Fitness Pal, which, despite the friendly name, does NOT make me want to get healthy/fit any more than the last plan did .)

3. Be more conscious of money. 10% complete, grade: F+ (I created a budget document, and to help to reduce the amount I intend on being "in the red" each month, I plan to eliminate a few unnecessary bills and have started the loan consolidation process. Oh, and I paid off one credit card and have one left & the debt I owe my mom to pay off...good thing she doesn't charge 20% interest like the credit cards.)

4. Be on time. 0% complete, grade: F (This lasted all of 2 days. Sorry, friends.)

5. Finally move out of my mom's house. 20% complete, grade: still an F+ (I have worked on previously mentioned budget, and have visited 15+ apartment complexes to narrow down the list. Now Boyfriend just has to visit the top 5 and we will make a decision, apply, put down a deposit, pack, decorate, and MOVE!)

6. Get happier. 50% complete, grade: I'll give myself a D- on this one (I started going to therapy and subsequently stopped; I considered going on anti-depressants/anti-anxiety medication and even picked up the prescription; throughout this process, though, my anxiety and depression noticeably calmed itself on its own. I'm happy to report that I am at least 50% happier than I was in January!)

7. Stop worrying so much. 50% complete, grade: D- (See resolution #6.)

8. Get a puppy. 0% complete, grade: F (Most apartment complexes on our list do not accept large dogs and we are still up in the air about what breed of dog we would like to get...so, we're still at square one on this one.)

9. Maintain my friendships better. Cannot measure this. This goal was likely impossible so far, because the busy season of my job is January-April. Let's just say I'm sitting at an F, since that seems to be the trend for the other resolutions...

10. Travel. 0% complete, grade: F (I do not have the money for this - see resolution #3 - but still plan on going to D.C. this fall! Can I consider myself 100% at that time?)

Overall grade: F (is for frickin' ridiculous that I haven't blogged since January 2nd and it is April 17th)


Here's to getting better grades, and blogging more regularly.


Love & renewed blogging motivation,
Molly

New Year, New Blog, New Resolutions

Happy 2012!

I found it pretty fitting to write my first real, official blog post about my New Year's Resolutions. Resolutions may seem pointless to some, as many people don't often follow through with theirs or forget by year's end (or even week's or month's end). I've been feeling like there is something so new and refreshing about the start of this new year, a clean slate, and it has made me want to write my own resolutions. I probably feel this way (refreshed, clean slate, etc.) because I came up with most of these resolutions in the shower, the cleanest place you can go, unless you shower in a college dorm.

In Goal Setting 101, you learn that you must set attainable, clear, and measurable goals for yourself in order to succeed in reaching your goals. Most of the following statements of mine are potentially unattainable, mostly unclear, and definitely not measurable. But these aren't goals, these are resolutions. I'll set some attainable, clear, and measurable goals at a later date (hopefully before December 31, 2012).

1. Start a blog. Hey! Looks like I've already got one of my resolutions completed! CHECK. Oh wait, it's not that easy. Start, develop, and manage a successful blog.

2. Get healthy. This could have really been its own resolution list (track what I eat, eat more fruits & veggies, drink more water, drink less booze, don't eat as much junk food, work out regularly, start running again, take vitamins, lose 25 pounds, etc.) but I'll just leave it as vague as getting healthy for now. I have a lot of work to do on this one, and you, my dear blog reader(s), will hear a lot about this endeavor of mine.

3. Be more conscious of money. Along with this one goes: stop using the credit cards, put myself on a budget, consolidate some loans, and save some money.

4. Be on time. This is one of my pet peeves when I experience it with other people, and I hate to admit that I'm one of the worst. For such a type-A personality, planner extraordinaire like myself, there's really no excuse why I am late to pretty much everything.

5. Finally move out of my mom's house. It's already in the works, pending resolution #3. About damn time, 24-year-old self.

6. Get happier. Certain circumstances in my life, which I'm sure you'll hear about some of which ad nauseum in the forthcoming blog posts, have made me feel like a Negative Nancy lately. I need to get back to focusing on the glass being half full rather than the glass being half empty.

7. Stop worrying so much. See resolution #6. Negativity and worrying, when combined, often cause a downward spiral into self-destructive and insecure thoughts for me.

8. Get a puppy. Pending resolution #5.

9. Maintain my friendships better. I have some fabulous friends all around the country and all around the world. I really need to do a better job of connecting with them, and in some cases, reconnecting with them. This also holds true for my friends close to home.

10. Travel. I know I'll be headed to D.C. at some point this upcoming year, but I'd like to travel to a couple of new places if possible. See resolution #3 for why this might not happen, but see resolution #9 for why it should.


Well, there it is, my awesomely vague list of 10 things I'd like to accomplish in the next 364 days (it's pretty much January 3rd, and this is a leap year, so...yeah, math). First on the to-do list regarding resolution #1 will be writing an accurate and expanded "About Me" section for this blog and then subsequently whoring out the link to this blog to all of my social circles.



Love & fresh starts,
Molly